Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Growing up my mom used to plant flowers every summer, she loved the way the dirt felt in her hands, she didn't wear gloves. I couldn't understand how she could have all that dirt under her fingernails, it drove me nuts. She absolutely loved flowers, any kind, it didn't matter. Later in life she planted mostly impatiens. I did love the way the yard looked with the addition of those beautiful flowers, so much so that I started doing the same thing when we moved into this house. The first spring we were here, she was staying with us. I asked her to coach me on how to plant, she was more than willing. We went to the nursery where she helped me pick out the flowers, she also "schooled" me on what to look for. I went with pink (light and dark) and white impatiens, she told me the white was to help break up the pink color. I thought having the light and dark was contrast enough, but she knew what she was doing so I listened to her. We bought a bunch of them, not knowing how many to buy since it was the first time planting. I brought one of my patio chairs to the front yard so she could sit down and "coach" away. She explained how deep to dig and how to place the plants so they would look nice. She even quizzed me a few times asking which color I was going to plant next! She even schooled me on how to plant bulbs and when the best time to do that was. I am so glad I listened that day, because when the time came to plant those bulbs...she was gone. I have only planted two more times since that first year. Last year I went with purple, light and dark, and of course white. This year I planted red and white. They never look as nice as they did that first year, they grew so big and tall. I think it was my mom's touch from heaven. She told me impatiens have to be planted every year, they do not come back like some other plants. Kind of funny she said that, because every year under my pine tree grows a small amount of pink impatiens. Each year they are in different locations under that tree, but they are there...a gift from my mom, maybe? I'd like to think so!

In case you are wondering why the website hasn't launched...we no longer have pants available to purchase. Sherry and I didn't want to start out with only half of the product line. We will launch as soon as we have another batch of pants. Thanks for your patience!!:o)

Until next time-
Take Care,

Friday, August 13, 2010

The Room

He took his last breathe and was gone, it happened that quickly. I had to get out of that room, the room I had spent the last six days in watching him die. The room was filled with his family, my in-laws, the people I had come to know and love in the past two and half months. Trying to leave the room I was blocked by his father's legs as he knelt by his son's bedside, sobbing. Keeping my eyes on the floor, I raised my voice, "Move!" I couldn't get out of that room quick enough, Peter was not there anymore. I could no longer feel his presence; he was reunited with his mom who had died eight years earlier.

When I had walked into that room I was a married woman, I now burst through the door a widow. I walked down the hallway, not knowing where I was going, in disbelief he was gone. I walked into the meeting room where I had spent time visiting with family, saying, "NO,NO,NO..." I sat down wondering, what next. I walked back to the room where he lay looking so peaceful, I couldn't go in. I started towards the nurse's desk and fell against the wall, crying. One of Peter's nurses came, grabbed me by the shoulders and led me to a chair behind the nurse's station. Condolences already, I wasn't ready for this. We were supposed to grow old together; we were supposed to raise our children and enjoy our grandchildren together. I was not supposed to be talking to someone on the other end of the phone about donating my husband's corneas. Yes, he hadn't been dead ten minutes and I received "that" phone call.

My sister-in-law Maria came and found me, there was another phone call for me, "Oh God, who wants what now?" I was afraid to answer it, but I wasn't ready to go back into the room, so I did. Peter's friend Irene was on the other end, more condolences. We spoke for a bit, she shared a few stories about him with me, and then informed me she was heading to the Greek Monastery to light a candle for his soul. That conversation somehow made me feel better, we hung up and I started towards "the room".

Although I thought I was ready, I still couldn't go in. I sat down on one of the chairs that were lined up against the wall. My mind wondered...I don't remember chairs being outside his room, when did they show up? It must have been earlier when a lot of people came to say their good-bye's. My niece Amanda (Peter's side of the family) came and sat down by me. I wondered what was going through her mind; does she know what to say to me? Can she tell I'm screaming on the inside about how unfair life is right now? I look at her with tears in my eyes, I can see how sad she is when we make eye contact. I tell her, "He's no longer here, he's gone." She just nods and agrees, and that's all we say to each other. I don't know if she understood what I meant, I could no longer feel him with me. It's still very strange to me that I felt that so strongly. While sitting in the hallway my sister-in-law Lily came and told me my brother Rick and his wife Anne Marie were on their way up. They had been out of town and had no idea what had just happened.

I got up from my chair, not saying a word and headed towards the elevator. About half way down the long corridor, I ran to the elevators and waited, pacing back and forth. I leaned against the wall and just sank until my backside almost touched the ground. It felt like it took hours for them to walk out of the elevator. They must have seen it on my face because the first thing my brother said to me was, "Oh Susie...I'm sorry." He gave me a big hug, and then Anne Marie did the same. We started to walk towards the room as I filled them in on everything that had happened in the past couple of days.

I've started writing, it has helped with the healing process. I'm hoping to make it into a book someday. Last Sunday it was the four year mark, it was a very difficult day. The fog has lifted so I feel more of the pain, I guess that's a good thing, it is a process after all. Last night while watching TV, a woman who had lost her husband said, "I miss how much he loved me," DING, DING, DING...that sums it up! The kids are doing well, they have enjoyed looking at pictures and watching videos these past few weeks. We're getting ready for school...the countdown begins!!

Until next time-

Take Care,


Wednesday, August 4, 2010


It'll Fit'll would like to congratulate one of our most dedicated followers...Sarah. Good luck to you and your mom with the opening of your fabric store, JEllen's House of Fabric. Their store is located at 5259 Mayfield Rd., Lyndhurst, OH...their grand opening is Monday, August 9th. That day also happens to be Sarah's 21st birthday, what a special day it will be!! They will be celebrating all week, through August 14th. We wish you tremendous success in your new endeavor.

Happy 21st Birthday...hope it's a wonderful day!!:o)
Sherry, Sue, and Helen (the It'll Fit'll team)