Everything Happens For A Reason...

Since our support group meeting last week I have been thinking a lot about how everything happens for a reason, do you think that way? After Peter died so many people said, "Sue, there is a reason why this happened, you might never know that reason, but rest assured, there is a reason." I didn't know how to respond at the time, I was polite and mostly just shook my head in agreement. What I really wanted to do was scream, "Who cares if there is a reason, it's not good enough for me, there's no good enough reason why my husband had to miss out on raising his children and living life!" I now believe that everything does happen for a reason and we may never have the answers to some of our questions, but eventually it all seems to fall into place. I keep thinking about the time my mom was very ill and in the hospital when Teddy was a newborn, 9 years ago. While in the hospital her doctor put her on a ton of medication and was able to stabilize her so she could go on with her life. At her follow up appointment he told her he hadn't expected her to walk out of the hospital, he thought it was the end for her. She made it through because everything happens for a reason... I needed her when Peter died. I think some people perceive me as cold and having no feelings because they haven't seen me cry over Peter's death. I have cried, a lot, in the comfort of my own home. The pain I feel everyday is real, I lost the love of my life, it's very lonely. I handle myself so well because I saw first hand how a mother with young kids can go on without their loved one. I know from experience that it can be done, so I know we will be okay. There may be times that are tough, but we will get through them, just like my mom did. My mom was meant to be here for me when I lost Peter, and when she saw that I would be okay, it was her time to go. Peter wanted to move to Colorado so bad, I kept telling him, "I don't want to move away from my family right now, I need the support of my family and friends." It drove him nuts, he wanted to be out west so bad, we would often have disagreements about it. I finally told him we could move after my mom passed away, but that I wasn't going anywhere until then. If my mom would have gone first, I'd be out in Colorado with no family or friends. I shudder to think of all I would have had to do after Peter's passing if I had been out there, alone. When I told Peter that, I never thought he would go first. Once again, everything happens for a reason...

Until next time-

Take Care,

Sue

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I Want To Go On Bunny Town...

The boys finally gave up on the computer chair and have since put our glider in front of the desk. I must admit, it is very comfy, but that's not such a good thing, I have been spending more time at the computer. I was starting to spend hours on the computer, checking other blogs and websites. I was getting nothing done, when I would usually make the beds, I was on the computer. While doing laundry I would have three baskets waiting to be folded, it got very backed up! That's when I decided I needed to stop spending so much time surfing the net! I have since made time limits for myself, and have stuck to them. I am back into the groove of housework and have actually gotten ahead of myself at times. I definitely need to get a new chair, this glider seems to be calling me at times. Yesterday while I was checking mail, Grace climbed on my lap waiting to go on one of her sites. She was keeping me so warm, and I was doing so much reading that my eyes became very heavy. I dozed off for just a couple of minutes, I was awaken by, "MOMMY, I WANT TO GO ON BUNNY TOWN!!!" Grace was tired of looking at the same page, I would be too if I were 4 years old and couldn't read yet. Remember, I was checking mail!!

Helen is at the Circus today with her class, she was so excited. She went last year and really had a good time, I heard about it for weeks. She has been trying very hard to hold conversations with me. We talk about her day at school, it is sometimes hard because I don't know all the names of the students or teachers. When I dropped her off those days last week when the bus was all messed up, the kids were saying hi to her. They were older kids too, not just the ones her age! When I walked with her down the hall the adults would say, "Hi Helen", I felt like I was with a movie star! Sometimes she would say hi back, but most of the times she just kept walking, she was on a mission... getting to class. I wonder if everyone knows her because of her little escapades on the playground, maybe word got around!! After I wrote my last blog I called the bus company to find out what was going on with our bus service. The morning driver was on vacation and would be back on Monday(2/18). Thank goodness she wasn't the one who broke her ankle! When I saw her Monday morning I told her she couldn't go on vacation again and explained our terrible week. She said she would be around for the rest of the school year! Helen's gloves went missing last week, I think on one of the substitute buses. I looked around the house and called her teacher at school to check the lost and found, no luck. Her teacher really likes the gloves because Helen is able to put them on by herself, I like them because they match her hat! I asked the bus drivers if they have seen them, they haven't. I went to the bus company yesterday to check their lost and found, it was very overwhelming. They have three big gargabe cans overflowing with hats, mittens, gloves, scarves, books, backpacks, shoes... you name it, they have it. Helen's gloves were not there! I didn't dig, I figured they would probably be on top since they were just lost last week. To be honest, I was afraid to dig any deeper than I did, something could have been living in there! It was quite stinky too!!! I decided I wouldn't want her gloves if they were buried, so I left. Her teacher said they're probably buried in a snow pile somewhere on the playground, maybe they'll show up when the snow melts!

Katie has a new goal to say one word at school each day, and the teacher has to be able to hear it. We made her chart yesterday so we can put a sticker on it each time she succeeds. Once she gets five stickers she gets a happy meal, that's a treat for her. So far she hasn't said a word, I'm hopeful for it happening today. She was in such a good mood this morning, she and Grace were very loud in school, all the way until we got to the hallway where her classroom is located. She was giggling when the teacher explained to me why she was in a different seat. She and her friend Kate were doing too much monkeying around, they had to be separated. Katie is definitely ready, let's just hope it's soon.

Until next time-

Take Care,

Sue

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Happy Valentines Day..Our 100th Blog

Happy Valentines Day to everyone!! Our blog has reached a milestone today, this is the 100th blog entry!! WOW! It has been a year since we started this blog, I hope it has been as enjoyable for you as it has for us. I have come to realize just how quickly time flies as you get older, it feels like yesterday when I sat down to write my first entry. I don't have anything important for today's blog, I was just going to complain about the many valentines I had to help with last night. Helen needed valentines for two classes, her special ed., and her inclusion class. She decided after writing her name on two of them that she had enough. She started to write everything but her name, in doing that, she ruined quite a few! We needed a lot for her, so I couldn't let her do it to any more, I took over and finished signing her name. She did help with taping the lollipop to them and closing them up. Katie and Ted also worked on theirs, Ted didn't need my help, but Katie did. After they were all done, I was going to write my blog last night, but was so tired. I couldn't believe how doing those valentines exhausted me, I went to bed. Robbie was the smart one, he worked on his the other night and took them to school already. Grace and I will be working on hers today, her party is tomorrow since she doesn't have school on Thursdays.

Today was a late start for Helen, she went in 2 hours later than usual. I was so mad at the bus service!! Today was the third time in less than a week they have been late. Only one of those times was due to the weather and is excusable, but the other two times I'd like to know what happened. I called the bus service to see if they were planning on picking her up today or if I needed to drop her off. First of all, it took me about 20 minutes to get through, which isn't a good sign because that means a whole lot of other people are trying to do the same. Second, after they checked and told me the bus was three minutes away they hung up on me while I was in mid-sentence. That really ticked me off, so I called the special education office and they transferred me to the transportation supervisor. I reached his secretary, he was on his way to the bus company to find out what is going on. I shared my story with her, she in fact told me the bus company has recently lost a key bus driver due to a broken ankle. I'm thinking it's our bus driver, I haven't seen her since Monday, the last day the bus was on time. She has been wonderful, there has only been one time this whole year she was late and I had to take Helen to school. I wish the answer were as simple as me taking her to school on my own. The problem with that, the other kids have to be at school the same time, I can't be in two places at once. If only Peter were here...

Hopefully the supervisor and the bus company can come up with a solution, until then, my hands are tied. Don't get me wrong, if there are any more issues, I won't hesitate to make a phone call, the bus company has supervisors also!

Katie made a huge step today, she went into school with the boys without any help from me. She has gone into school before but I have had to go and meet her at her classroom. Today I was able to drop them off and go right home, it is so much easier!! I know I mentioned before Katie having Selective Mutism, well, it's official, she was diagnosed by a doctor. She started therapy on Tuesday and loved it. If today is any indication of how this is all going to work out, I'm very optimistic. I am so proud of her, I know she is trying really hard to come out of her shell. She joined Daisy Scouts this week and was able to sit in on the yearbook picture with her friends. I was worried she wouldn't do it, getting her to take her school picture was a nightmare. The principal called me to come to the school and see what I could do. I got her in front of the camera, but that's about it. I have a picture of a little girl that resembles Katie hanging on my wall, but the beautiful smile is missing. She told me yesterday, "We went to the gym to get our pictures, I sat with my friends, and I smiled real big!" I am so proud of her and told her so after I clapped! I think she will talk at school sooner than we think, and I will be so relieved. Her friends need to see the wonderful little girl she is and not the little girl who doesn't talk.

My computer chair has been broken for some time now, we have been able to work with it. Over the week-end it finally gave up on us, so I am perched on the very edge trying to get this blog written. My big b-u-t (as the kids spell it!) is falling asleep, it's time to end this 100th blog entry, and what a way to go! Here's to many more...

Until next time-

Take Care,

Sue

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Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow...

Oh my gosh, I haven't seen this much snow since I was a kid!, that's about all I could say yesterday when it kept coming down. I haven't seen the total number we got, but the last time I did catch the weather report, we had gotten 16" of snow in about 16 hours. It was very windy, and at times there was rain mixed in with the snow. I watched my neighbor do some clearing of the sidewalks and driveways(he insists on doing mine also), and within minutes it looked as though he had not even been there. I can't wait for the thaw!!!

Yesterday was Helen's birthday, she is now the big 8!!! She would come up to me during the day and tell me it was her birthday. I was going to make her a gluten free cake, but when I went to get the mix out of the cupboard, it wasn't there. I couldn't run to the store because of the weather, so I made gluten free blonde brownies with m&m's and chocolate chips. I put vanilla frosting and candles on it to make it look like a cake. She was happy with it, that's all that matters. We gave her a couple of her gifts yesterday, we are saving the big one for Sunday, the day of her party. We gave her a Wiggles CD, she loves music. Her speech teacher told me they sometimes have a hard time keeping her focused in group language. When they use music and dance, she stays focused the whole time. I had her annual IEP meeting on Monday, I really dislike those!! It's very hard to hear just how far behind she is compared to kids her own age. I was very pleased to hear she will be advancing to the first grade next year. I was worried she would be in kindergarten forever! I know she has made progress academically, I was worried she wasn't "mature" enough to make it to first. She is doing much better, but the teachers are still having a hard time with recess. Here at home I see a change in her behavior most times, but she still has her moments, like when she keeps repeating the word butt and laughs!!! The other kids got yelled at for using that word so often that they now spell it, b-u-t!!!

On Saturday my brother John and his wife Chris came over and took down Noah's crib in order to make room for his new big boy bed. He was so excited!! If you ask him who put his bed together he will tell you, "John!" Just this morning my father-in-law was here and I asked Noah if he showed Papou(Grandpa) his new bed. He told me, "No, John, bed, put together!" I had my couch cleaned last week and Noah was calling the cleaning guy "John". When my Uncle Ed came over and helped me with my new kitchen table, Noah kept calling him "John". My neighbor who does all the snow removal gets the "John" title also. I guess any man who comes over and does work is "John" to Noah.

Sunday was Scout Sunday so Sherry came over so I could go to church with Ted and Robbie. It was a very nice mass, a lot of the parents and leaders were involved with the mass. Ted and Robbie helped take up the gifts for communion. The mass was said for Peter, I thought it would be nice for the boys. When they mentioned his name I had this very powerful feeling of his presence, I got teary-eyed. That night I dreamt of him. After mass there was a social in the school's cafeteria where we had coffee, juice, and doughnuts, it was very nice. This Saturday we will be in the parking lot collecting cans as one of our fundraisers. From there the kids will be heading to Greek school, they have missed the last two weeks because of the weather. On March 23rd they will be having a program in honor of Greek Independance Day, so they need to get their parts so they can practice.

Well, once again I'm getting kicked off the computer! Helen is the only one who had school today and she will be home soon. I'm looking forward to tomorrow so I can get a few things done before the week-end. It's so much easier when they are all at school!!

Until next time-

Take Care,

Sue

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