Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I hope all of you are surrounded by family and friends tomorrow, and have a wonderful day. Sherry will be the hostess to our brother Rick and his wife Anne Marie, our Aunt Joan and Uncle Ed, and last, but not least, my kids and I. She said, "It's going to be a small gathering, but then again, anytime Susie and her family are there, it's not so small after all!" HA! Sherry has been extremely busy working on It'll Fit'll business and hasn't had a chance to sit down and blog. She sends her apologies and will be blogging soon to let you know what she has been up to.

Three of my kids have a cough, Helen has a runny nose, and Grace came home today from school with a temp. of 104.2! How scary!! I gave her Tylenol and juice and set her up on the couch so I could keep an eye on her. After a half hour she was ready for some soup so I gave her a little bit, she took about 4 spoonfuls and was done. She just woke up from a nap, she broke her fever, YEAH!! I told her she had to stay on the couch and rest so she would feel better for Thanksgiving, hopefully she will.

I met with Helen's teachers on Monday, it was an okay meeting. She has become disruptive in the classroom. She is saying the word "butt" and laughing and being loud. The other kids can't concentrate because she is non-stop. I know exactly how she is, she does the same when we go to church. I have tried everything and I'm at a loss what to do about it. I have tried to ignore but that only makes it louder. I have tried to discipline, this only helps for a short period of time. We haven't gone to church the past couple of weeks because it stresses me out so bad, the looks I get from the other adults, it's terrible.

This week has been difficult for me, I have had no energy, and don't feel like doing anything. This was my mom's time of year, she just loved the holidays. Thanksgiving was her holiday to host and Christmas Eve was my Aunt's. I remember when I was a little girl waking up to the smell of turkey, ahhhh the aroma was awesome. When your so young you really don't appreciate all that your parent(s) do for you to make your holidays memorable. Now that I'm the adult I realize all the hard work she did for us. So on this Thanksgiving, my first without my mom, I am thankful to have had such a wonderful mother who left me with such wonderful memories of this magical time of year.

I wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving.
Until next time-
Take Care,
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DonnaJean said...

Oh Sue, you sound like you have gone around the block and are just TIRED of all the work, and energy it takes. I so can understand.

The first anniversary, the first Holiday etc without your Mom is going to be the hardest thing you may have to endure. Maybe even more so than when your Peter died.

Moms are supposed to be there for you FOREVER! And then, suddenly she is gone. I am so thankful you have your close knit family to lean on, but, I know its not the same.

Honey, this may be too personal of a question, so please feel free not to answer. Have you been to personal grief counseling? Widow counseling, loss of a parent counseling? I know with 6 litle ones you feel you do not have time to "indulge" in therapy, but, believe me, it is the most IMPORTANT thing you can do, not just for the family but most importantly for YOU.

You are being pulled from one thing to another, all your children deserve the best you can give, and right now, maybe you need to realize you can't be the "supermom" you wanted to be.

If you don't take care of YOU, who will take care of those beautiful babies of yours?

I speak from experience. If I could go back to 1984 when my husband was killed, I would do so many things different. I would have gone to therapy, I would have accepted the help people were offering. Instead, I was the "strong" mother and widow. I didn't think I needed help. Now, 23 years later, I think back and see how silly those thoughts were.

I didn't take proper care of myself, and thus my children reaped the benefits. Thank Goodness we are now over that period, but if I could change one day or two, I would in an instant.

On a lighter note regarding Helen, in California we have a resource called the Regional Center. I am sure you have a similar program that actually helps parents find the right resources and needs for their children. And they fund these resources. They also have a Behavior Management Program. Have you taken advantage of this? I do believe Helen, (because of what you have blogged about) really needs her own personal intervention.

I needed Behavior Management for Laurie for awhile, and it worked wonders. Please, just look into it. It may not be what you need, but it will not hurt to try.

Think about it, sweetie, you have 6 children, each needing your time and attention, and then you have this beautiful daughter with special needs, and she is just exerting her "power" to get your and her brothers/sisters/teachers attention. She needs to learn how to vent those feelings.

Its easier for our other children to do that. But not so much for our special girls.

I certainly hope I haven't come across as "preachy" or trying to tell you what to do. I just wanted to lend a bit of "sage" advice and see if it will work for you and your beautiful family.

With love, Donna

Sue said...


Sherry came over last night and mentioned you had left a message for me. I didn't realize you had, usually I would receive an email. Sherry told me the email came to her instead. I am not offended in any way, I will be emailing you soon. Please don't worry about me, I am doing fine.